Monday, 28 September 2009

Cheese Please.

A blog about cheese? You Gouda been joking. I've never recovered from the fact that cottage cheese is apparently not made out of a cottage. Okay, let's get that old cheese joke out of the way. What cheese is 'made' backwards? 'Edam'.
I love cheese, the stronger, the stinkier, the better. If I open the pack and get an aroma that burns out my nostril hairs; that's a result. If I open up the pack and I am greeted with a pungent stench, reminiscent of socks that have been inside a pair of trainers, used in a frantic game of basketball; well that sends me to cheesy heaven.
Mild cheese? Forget it. To me, mild cheese is like eating glorified wax. No, I'd rather enjoy an exotic cheese. Heck, I have this urge for some Gorgonzola, which is an Italian blue cheese (and not, as I used to think, some female Greek mythical creature with sharp fangs, whose appearance, would turn anyone who looked at her, to turn to stone).
So just what have I learnt about cheese? Well, eating Stilton cheese will not make me seem taller. That eating blue cheese will not make me sad. That is not the law in Philadelphia that you must eat Philadelphia cream cheese. I'm going to end this 'cheesecurdling' blog very soon. I've got this urge to 'gorge' myself on some extra strong cheddar. Cheese please, anything but mild. Some cheese you must handle 'Caerphilly', because it crumbles so easily.

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

A 'Barrel Of Laughs' ..And A Monkey.

A 'barrel of laughs', more fun than a 'barrel full of monkeys'. Okay this is a low budget blog and I only managed to get one willing monkey to go into the barrel.
I try to live my life with a sense of adventure, excitement, and yes, good-natured humour. It wasn't always this way. There was a time when I spent so much negative energy looking for the bad in people, that I overlooked the good within them. Those day are long gone and I am free. Free from the shackles that chained me into a negative mind set. Now, I celebrate life, for the alternative is a dark and gloomy place that I am determined to never visit again. I will never again give negative speculation permission to overwhelm and control my life. For to do so, would be of little use to me, and detrimental to all those I care about.
We all have the right to a happy life. If something is not working then it time to rethink our situation and seek within the inspiration, the motivation that tells us there is a better way. The negative energy that tried to strangle me has been replaced by a positive resilience. I will not allow those who try to sabotage my enthusiasm, with their own negative speculation, destroy what I have worked so hard to achieve. My positive progress continues. I grow in strength.
So, my life is a 'barrel of laughs'. Whenever I go out my front door, I smile, I laugh and the people I meet, smile and laugh with me. Their laughs, their smiles, are wondrous gifts. I have much to celebrate and I am grateful. "klahanie?" "Yes monkey?" "klahanie, can I get out of the barrel now?" "Whoops! of course you can."

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

'Congratulations! You've Won A...'

'Ring, ring.' "Hello." Then the recorded message starts: 'Congratulations! You've won a trip to Orlando!' "Flippin' heck I have?" I found myself saying to the recorded message. "Wow wee, I have won yet another trip to Orlando! How lucky am I?" Then the message stopped and the dull hum of the ring tone took over.
I get a tad aggravated by these occasional recorded messages. Sometimes I answer the phone, only to get a blast in my ear. Can you imagine what it's like to answer the phone expecting to talk to someone; only to be greeted by the unmistakable sound of an ocean liner's horn? Suddenly, I'm thinking 'Love Boat' and the golden tones of Jack Jones singing the theme tune. 'Toot..toot'...'congratulations you've won an all-expenses-paid trip for a week cruising the Bahamas on a luxury liner!' "Thanks very effin' much.!" I scream into the phone. "Trips to Orlando, cruises in the Bahamas. How much luck can one guy have?" Once again, I realised that I had been ranting and raving to a recording. Then the message stopped and the dull hum of the ring tone took over.
I found out that most of the calls are coming from America and I have a plan. At certain times of the day, I can make free calls to the States. So maybe, just maybe, I will phone them up and state the following: "Congratulations! You've won a free trip to all the landfill sites in Britain!" I can just imagine the uncontrollable excitement of the person at the other end of the line.
In the meantime, I have our dog. 'Penny', ready to monitor incoming calls. So if you phone me and hear something that sounds like a slobbering noise; it aint me, honest.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

'Local People, Local Lives.'

I have been flattered that Media Action Group for Mental Health (MAGMH), which is based in Stoke on Trent, has asked me for my input regarding one of their upcoming projects. The project has been named, 'Local People, Local Lives.'
Statistics have indicated that approximately 1 in 4 of us will experience some form of mental health concerns within our lifetime. Yet the 'ripple effect' that mental health issues can cause, goes beyond these statistics. That is why it is vital for all of us to further understand the impact our enviroment has on our lives.
With today's uncertain world, a world where a change in lifesyles can produce negative situations; we may start to have worries about our mental health. With this change, you might find that a negative environment can be overwhelming. You might think you are alone but it doesn't have to be this way.
This is where a project like 'Local People, Local Lives', can be of great benefit. Together, those of us with mental ill health, those of us who are worried about potential mental health problems, or those of us who are just curious to learn more about mental health; can all be here for each other. We can work through the inaccurate stigmas and stereotypes attached to mental illness. We can realise that we have shared interests. We can see that beyond the diagnosis, is just another person trying to make the most of their life.
I am submitting the following links so you can get a better idea about this project. Those of you who do not live locally, may consider seeking out a similar, or creating a similar project where you live. After all, we are all in this together. Help each other, we help ourselves.

Here are the links:

You will see on this link a section pertaining to the 'Local People, Local Lives' project.

My good friend, David, has done a blog that explains very well what the ethos behind the project is.

I thank you for your time.

Friday, 4 September 2009

Garbage Bloggler.

The picture above is me posing with what is named a 'garbage gobbler'. In case you were wondering, the one on the left is me. The photograph was taken around 1980 and I apologise for the rather blurry outcome of taking a photograph of a photograph. Maybe blurry is good.
The garbage gobblers were very much a roadside attraction throughout the province of British Columbia. You would see them at information points and resting spots. Sadly, there are few remaining.
Garbage gobblers were a fun way of disposing of rubbish and helped promote keeping the province, neat and tidy. So we would take our garbage and stuff it down into the gobbler's mouth. What a thrill. Garbage going into the waiting mouth of a gobbler. Whilst me, garbage ready to come out of mine.
So now I have done a blog about garbage. Most likely apt, considering all the rubbish I have typed in the past. Garbage gobblers bring back memories of my youthful days. Driving mile after breathtaking mile, through beautiful British Columbia, occasionally stopping to fill the friendly face of our friend, the garbage gobbler.
So that's a brief story from your garbage bloggler about the garbage gobbler. The gobbler taking garbage, the bloggler talking garbage.