Sunday 17 June 2007

Social Networking

Greetings People-
Over the last few weeks my social networking has increased significantly. This has been a tremendous challenge. The increase in my social networking has also brought me into situations that triggered a lot of deep-rooted emotional pain. Pain that I had suppressed for all too long. I hope that confronting this emotional turmoil will give me the opportunity to move on with my life.
Sadly, I have reached one conclusion. That the 'closure' I seek from one emotional tragedy will never come to fruition. My questions will go unanswered. Why the lady that I loved so much will not answer the one question I so desperately seek an answer too: "Why did it have to end up this way?" I must try to understand that perhaps the trauma she has endured, from situations not caused by me, have made it difficult for her to close out a sad chapter in both our lives.
I know I should maintain my social networking. Yet I am very frightened. I have gone from being a virtual recluse, to someone who, once again, braves the outside world. This is not easy. For behind the bravado, deep within, is a scared and lonely child. I know to people who have met me, that I might appear to be an outgoing and enthusiastic person. This is indeed a part of me and it is genuine. However, the 'inner-critic' continues to sabotage my positive outlook. The self-doubts begin to creep in. "Do not get too involved with society" says my inner-critic. " You will be caught out and exposed as an incompetent fool."
I battle against these thoughts. I do not want to 'fade away' yet again. I have met some very caring, very sincere people. I must draw strength from them.
So I will continue in my own personal struggle to be happy. I look at the positives that I have accomplished recently. I drove from Leek to Hanley, in appalling conditions, to assistant co-ordinate a 'Changes' meeting. I could have made excuses not to go. I challenged my fears, I was determined to be there. I could have found reasons to justify not being involved with MAGMH at Sanity Fair. All the way down on the bus, I felt panicky. Yet, I confronted that sensation. I put my nagging self-doubts to the test. I know, from the series of events that I experienced at Sanity Fair, some humorous. some sad and thought-provoking, that I emerged stronger and more determined. I thank all the good people who helped make that happen.
I hope from this blog that it helps others realise that we can challenge whatever is hurting us. If I have struck a particular chord with you that aids in your pursuit of contentment. That is indeed an awesome energy. We have the right to be happy. We have the right to be heard. We can inspire and be inspired. Empathy is powerful, through this empathy, we shall turn negatives into positives.
I thank you for your time. Kind regards adanac67.

8 comments:

  1. You do inspire Adanac67. Thank you for all your help and support on Saturday. I was so pleased you were there, really delighted. It made a real difference having you there. thank you for saying Yes! Smiling as I type this - very fond memories of the day. mow

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  2. Well thought out words !

    Radioman/Leigh...

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  3. Hi again adanac67,

    It takes great courage and strength to learn to gradually overcome any great emotional pain, and these are qualities that you have in abundance. (amongst many other fine qualities)
    From one ex-recluse to another, I promise you, that it does become easier,(with time and patience)

    You will also learn to trust again, I promise.

    It was good to see you at Sanity Fair, and I have just read the interview you gave to the Sentinel which was very positive and so obviously came from the heart.

    May you always be willing to let go of the hurt and what no longer serves you, and in time move on.

    Kindest Regards D x

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  4. Hello Adanac67,

    Just a quick reminder that the Mind Bloggling Online Survey is back on line.

    It can be found at:

    http://www.mindbloggling.org.uk/-_online_survey_.htm

    Or follow the ‘online survey’ link on the home page of the Mind Bloggling Website:

    www.mindbloggling.org.uk

    Please spread the word!

    Thank You

    Emma & Nat

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  5. klahanie its me nana
    yes i rember you last week
    anyway one day you will be happy
    im very happy now
    i got devorced and my ex took my children from me i was brokenhearted
    i couldent believe he did that to me i was so much in pain i cryed for mounths my life was over
    people kept on telling me youle be fine just take each day one day at a time i even lost my house ended up in a not very nice flat anyway has the years went by my children got older and then things got better and better now i see my children all of the time my eldest has just had a biuetiful little girl she is 1 today also a few years ago i moved house its a lovely litle 2 bedroom house just decorated all through its beiutifuul now things are going so well ive got my children back iv got a bietiful litle grandaurghter afantastic 2 bedroom house and on top of that ive stoped smokeing
    anyway gotta go now speak to you soon nana

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  6. hello,

    i think that your bob on klahanie, sometimes seeking a justice or want from a situation that has passed and therefore will never come to fruition can stand in the way of seeing happiness in the current or future!

    i am so glad that you are no longer a vertual recluse as you said you once were as it would of prevented me from knowing you & deprived me of many a laughs!

    you are so right!...

    We do have the right to be happy. We do have the right to be heard. We can inspire and be inspired. Empathy is powerful, through this empathy, we shall turn negatives into positives.

    thank you for reminding me of this.

    i am guilty myself of forgetting just how much i have changed (for the better) over the years, now because it is such a natual state i forget how much of a change and achievement it actually was! and so become sometimes unhappy about my percieved lack of achievement

    thank you for making me take stock a bit and realise at least in part at some of the progress that i have made.

    purkul
    x

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  7. adanca67
    just wanted to say glad my blog helped you out gotta go nanna.

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  8. gary you are an amazing guy who inspires me totally. i think you would make an amazing support worker. raphael da caravaggio

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I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.